Sunday 2nd November 2025
Since starting this blog, one of the things I’ve been most grateful for is connecting with people who’ve had similar experiences to mine, or who knows someone who has. A question I often receive from those who have a loved one experiencing DPDR is: “How can I support them?”
It’s such an important question, because DPDR can be incredibly isolating and difficult to understand. In today’s post, I want to share some thoughtful ways you can support someone living with it, with empathy, care, and patience.
Understanding DPDR
DPDR is mostly an internal experience. On the outside, someone might seem fine, but inside, they can feel distant from themselves or detached from the world around them, as though they’re moving through life in a dream or watching it from behind glass.
They might say things like, “I feel like I’m not really here,” or “It’s like I’m in a dream.” You may also notice signs such as difficulty focusing or remembering things, struggling to look in the mirror, low motivation (especially for social situations), or general exhaustion.
Because it’s so invisible, it’s easy to miss, which makes gentle understanding even more important. If you’re worried about someone, it’s best to approach the topic with sensitivity. Jumping in with lots of information or suggesting they “might have this disorder” can feel overwhelming and cause them to withdraw.
Starting the Conversation
If you want to reach out, choose a calm and comfortable setting; somewhere they feel safe and at ease. You could start by saying something like: “I’ve noticed you seem a bit distant lately, and I just wanted to check in. How are you feeling? I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.”
Keep things open and non-judgmental. If they decide to open up, listen first, really listen. You can then gently mention that you’ve come across information about DPDR and that it sounds similar to what they’re describing, but only if it feels appropriate in the moment. Let them guide the pace, and reassure them that you’re there to support, not diagnose.
Ways to Support Someone with DPDR
1. Educate yourself
Take some time to learn about DPDR; what it feels like, what can trigger it, and what can help. While there isn’t as much information available as there should be, there are personal stories, articles, and videos that can give you a sense of what your loved one might be experiencing. You might also look into grounding or mindfulness techniques, which you could explore together to help bring them back to the present moment. I have included some links at the bottom of this post that might be helpful.
2. Check in, but give them breathing space
Let them know you’re there for them without making them feel monitored. Finding this balance can take time. Gentle, genuine check-ins work best. Things like, “Thinking of you today,” or “Fancy a quiet coffee?”. When they share how they feel, validate their experience rather than trying to fix it. Phrases like “That sounds really hard” or “I can see why that would be scary” can mean a lot.
3. Learn what helps (and what doesn’t)
Everyone experiences DPDR differently. Try to understand what seems to make their symptoms worse; things like stress, exhaustion, or overstimulation, and what brings them comfort; such as nature, music, rest, or calm company. Being aware of their triggers and soothing strategies can make it easier to support them through difficult moments.
4. Encourage professional help
If they’re not already seeing someone, you can gently suggest speaking with a therapist familiar with DPDR or trauma. But timing is everything. It’s important not to rush or pressure them. Simply letting them know that help is available, and that you’ll support them if they decide to reach out, is often enough.
5. Be patient
The process of learning to live with and manage DPDR isn’t quick or linear. There will be better days and harder ones, moments of progress and moments that feel like setbacks. What matters most is that they know they can rely on your steady support. Your patience and understanding can help them feel grounded when their own sense of reality feels shaky.
Supporting someone with DPDR can be confusing at times, and it’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters most is your willingness to show up with kindness, to listen without judgement, and to remind them that they’re not alone in what they’re feeling. DPDR can make people feel detached from themselves and the world, but your steady presence can help them find their way back to connection, safety, and calm. One small, compassionate moment at a time 💛
If you have any questions or ever want to chat, feel free to reach out.
Kate x
https://www.unrealcharity.com/
https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques#mental-techniques
Mostly Kate 