Thursday 9th October 2025
This blog isn’t specific to DPDR. Of course that’s the topic I can speak best on, however, I think the struggle of recognising and measuring process applies to so many people experiencing a wide range of mental health difficulties.
As we heal, grow and evolve, it can be hard to see and appreciate the progress we’ve made as it’s so often a slow and gradual process. Being able to measure progress comes when we have a certain amount of self awareness and a clear understanding of ourselves; how we behave and act, our thought patterns, strengths and weaknesses, communication and attachment styles etc.
One of the most tangible ways to recognise mental health progress is by looking at your daily functioning. This is where keeping a journal, diary, or even a collection of photos or short videos can be really helpful. These small records give you something concrete to look back on, especially on days when it’s hard to see how far you’ve come. Try spending a few moments comparing what everyday life used to look like versus how it looks now. Maybe there was a time when getting out of bed or leaving the house felt impossible, and now you can do it most days without as much struggle. Perhaps you used to skip meals or find it hard to keep up with chores, but lately you’ve been preparing simple meals, tidying up, or maintaining a routine. Some people notice progress through increased energy or focus, while others recognise it in the reduction of constant busyness and being able to slow down and rest without guilt. It might also show up as finding small moments of joy that used to slip by unnoticed: appreciating your morning coffee, enjoying time with a friend, or simply feeling more at ease in your own company. The point isn’t to measure perfection or productivity, but to notice the subtle shifts. The signs that life feels a bit more manageable, connected, or meaningful than before. Over time, looking back on your notes or photos can remind you that growth often happens quietly, one small adjustment at a time.
Recognising emotional shifts and changes in thought patterns is such a liberating thing but requires a good amount of self awareness and willingness to actively combat negative or unhelpful habits. Let’s say you notice yourself thinking, “I’m terrible at my job. Everyone else is doing better than me.” The first step is awareness, pausing to recognise what’s happening rather than automatically believing the thought. You might rephrase it as, “I’m having the thought that I’m terrible at my job,” which helps create distance and perspective. You then notice when these thoughts tend to appear (for example, after comparing yourself to others or making a small mistake) and identify what emotions or body sensations come with them, like tension or anxiety. Once you’ve built awareness, you move into regulation. This could mean taking a few slow breaths to settle your body, and then gently reframing the thought: “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean I’m bad at what I do, everyone learns as they go.” By grounding yourself and redirecting your focus toward a practical next step, you shift from self-criticism to constructive thinking. Over time, noticing these patterns earlier and recovering more quickly from them becomes a clear sign of progress. The goal isn’t to eliminate negative thoughts completely, but to respond to them with more calm, compassion, and balance than before.
Another meaningful way to measure progress is by looking at the people in your life, your relationships, how they’ve evolved, and how you show up within them. The way our relationships form and develop is deeply influenced by our attachment style (anxious, avoidant, secure), which shapes how we seek connection, respond to closeness, and handle emotional needs. I personally have an anxious attachment style, which means I often crave reassurance and connection, but at the same time can find relationships stressful and emotionally consuming. In the past, this made me feel trapped in a constant push and pull of wanting closeness but fearing rejection or abandonment. This year, I’ve been able to measure progress by noticing when my anxious attachment system becomes activated and responding differently than I used to. Instead of reacting immediately or spiraling into self-doubt, I can pause, acknowledge what’s happening, and give myself time to feel, regulate, and think rationally before acting. Sometimes that means taking a few deep breaths, journaling about what triggered me, or reminding myself that a delayed message or quiet moment doesn’t mean I’m being rejected. These moments of awareness, when you can observe your emotions rather than be overwhelmed by them, are where you see real growth. By learning to create a sense of safety within yourself instead of relying entirely on others for reassurance, over time, that shift will make relationships feel more balanced and less consuming. When you look back and realise you’re handling connection, distance, or conflict with more calm, clarity, and compassion than before, that’s genuine progress. Understanding your attachment style doesn’t mean labelling yourself, it’s about recognising your patterns and using that awareness as a guide for healthier, more secure relationships.
Lastly, a valuable way to recognise mental health progress is by looking at your coping mechanisms; the ways you manage stress, discomfort, or difficult emotions. When we’re struggling, our coping strategies often focus on survival. They might include avoidance, distraction, overworking, people-pleasing, or numbing through things like food, social media, or alcohol. These behaviours aren’t signs of weakness, they’re protective responses that once helped us get through overwhelming situations. Over time, as healing begins and emotional awareness grows, these coping patterns often start to shift. You may notice yourself reaching for healthier outlets like journaling, exercising, reaching out for support, or simply allowing yourself to feel an emotion rather than pushing it away. You might begin to pause before reacting, to question whether an old coping habit still serves you, or to choose self-soothing over self-criticism.
Progress here can be subtle but deeply meaningful. Maybe you once coped by shutting down or lashing out, and now you can take a breath and express what you need calmly. Maybe you used to bottle everything up, and now you can talk openly with a friend or therapist. These are powerful signs of growth. Coping mechanisms don’t need to disappear, they evolve. What once felt like a desperate way to survive can transform into intentional, compassionate self-care. Looking back and noticing how your responses to stress have changed, even in small ways, is a clear and encouraging measure of your mental health progress.
Whether you’ve made heaps of progress or are just getting started, you’re doing such a great job. Growth isn’t always easy to see while you’re in it, but every moment of awareness, every small act of care, and every effort to understand yourself better truly matters. Remember that you are worthy of your own love, patience, and compassion, and that taking the time to recognise how far you’ve come is progress in itself.
All my love,
Kate xx
Mostly Kate 