How am I doing now?

Monday 25th August 2025

Since starting this blog, I’ve had some really wonderful conversations with people. Some with loved ones, some with strangers who found me through my website or Instagram and got in touch to share their stories or ask questions. It’s felt so freeing and refreshing to connect like that, especially because even just a year ago, those kinds of conversations would have been so hard for me.

And one question I often get asked (and I’m so grateful for it) is: “How are you doing now?” So today’s post is a little life update; the good days vs the trickier ones, and how I try to ride the waves.

When I stopped obsessing over my symptoms and how they showed up in my day-to-day life, it was like my brain finally gave me permission to enjoy living. I started to notice the little things again; the birds outside my window in the morning, the golden glow of the sunset, the sound of laughter among family and friends. Life slowly started to look more colourful. The grey cloud of confusion and fog didn’t disappear, but it stopped taking up all the space.

Back in April 2024, I set off on a three-month adventure around Europe with my boyfriend at the time. I’ll always be grateful for him and that trip, because it really shifted something in me. Life on the road was the complete opposite of my old routine: instead of 46-hour work weeks, hardly socialising and obsessing over finding a cure, I was travelling, meeting new people, trying new things, and constantly moving. Of course, all that change sometimes sent my symptoms sky-high, but I learned to ground myself: “I might not feel real right now. This might all feel dreamlike. But it IS real. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m with someone I feel safe with. I’m in control, and I can still enjoy this moment.”  That’s a mantra I still use whenever the fog rolls in.

Jump forward to August 2025, and life looks pretty different. My boyfriend and I parted ways at the start of the year. It was painful, but the right decision for both of us. And honestly, I’ve really loved these past seven months single. It’s given me more brain space for me stuff. I started going to the gym (which I LOVE!) and feeling stronger each week has been so empowering. I’m still nannying full-time for two families I adore, and my schedule gives me some free time during the week for things for me like therapy, brunch dates with friends, long walks, singing, charity shop crawls, and having time to write. I’m so grateful for this balance I’ve built.

Travel has been a big part of my year too. In February, I joined We Got You Boo (a community designed to help women in their 20s and 30s meet and have fun with other like minded women) for a 10-day group trip to Sri Lanka. It was my first big trip without family or friends, and I knew it would test my symptoms, but the excitement outweighed the fear. And I’m so glad, because it turned out to be one of the most incredible trips I’ve ever done. I made amazing friends, saw elephants (my favourite animal in the whole world!), went on safaris, watched dance shows, ate in local people’s homes, visited temples, and soaked up so much beauty and culture.

In April, my best friend Ro and I finally travelled together for the first time; a long weekend in Bergen, Norway. We were so excited, we honestly felt like proper adults, booking flights and exploring a new city just the two of us. That trip felt so special. My brain and body seemed a little more adjusted to travel by then, so while the world around me still felt slightly dreamlike, being with Ro, my safe person, grounded me. We spent our days wandering through the colourful streets, eating so much food, laughing constantly, and just soaking up the simple joy of being away together. I’ll never forget the feeling of hiking up Floyvarden Balplass together, feeling really present in my body for the first time in ages.

Then in May came my first ever solo trip: six days in Lisbon, Portugal. I can’t describe how proud I am of myself for that one. Of course, I had nerves, but I quickly realised I’m far more capable than I’d given myself credit for. I loved it so much that I booked another solo trip as soon as I got home. In July, I spent a week in Valencia, Spain. That trip was even better, because I went in with confidence. It wasn’t without its challenges (the kind many solo female travellers will understand), but I handled it, stayed strong, and refused to let it ruin things. I met people I’ll be friends with for life, one has even invited me to their wedding in the States next year! That’s something I never would have experienced if I’d let “spaced out” keep running my life.

And I’ve started dating again! It’s been equal parts exciting and terrifying, but I’m learning so much about myself. About my needs and wants, my worth, and the kind of love that feels like an addition to my life, not the centre of it. I’m showing up as myself fully; quirks, weirdness, and all – and that feels really, really good.

So, how am I doing now? Honestly, pretty good. My symptoms still flare up, especially with new places, new people, busy environments, or nerves. But the difference is, I hold the reins now. “Spaced out” can walk beside me without taking control. On the harder days, I try to meet myself with kindness. I remind myself that my symptoms are only trying to protect me, and that’s okay. I just don’t let them call the shots anymore.

Finally, I just want to say thank you. To everyone who’s read any of my blogs, messaged me, or simply shared a kind word, it means more than I can ever explain. Knowing that sharing my story might help someone else makes all of this feel worthwhile.

All my love,
Kate x