Wednesday 23rd July 2025
We all know how important it is to have loved ones in our lives. And for those of us lucky enough to have a solid support system in our friends and family, we know just how much of a difference they can make.
But when it comes to mental health, opening up about what’s really going on in our minds can feel daunting – even with the people we trust most.
I’m incredibly lucky. My family is my rock. As much as we drive each other mad on a daily basis, we show up for one another, always. That love and support is unwavering. But still, the thought of telling them about my diagnosis was absolutely terrifying.
At that point, the only people who knew were my therapist and the doctor who gave me the diagnosis, and that felt safe. Contained. Expanding that circle meant letting others in on a version of myself that, at the time, I saw as “broken.”
I’d crafted a pretty convincing external version of myself: the happy, bubbly, funny girl. That’s what people saw. That’s what I let them see. But keeping up that façade all the time was exhausting. Deep down, I knew I needed to be able to show up at home as me – unfiltered, unmasked, just existing in whatever state I was in.
But how do you even begin to explain something so layered and personal?
I’ve always found writing helpful. There’s something healing about getting my thoughts out onto a page, completely unfiltered, free to word-vomit as much as I need. It’s like therapy. So I used that same approach to help me face this big, scary conversation.
I wrote a letter, addressed to my mum, dad, and brother. In it, I explained the process I’d gone through to get my diagnosis, why it mattered to me, and what I hoped would come from sharing it with them.
It was the best thing I could’ve done.
The letter opened up a conversation. They listened. They asked questions. I explained. We cried. We hugged. And that night, I went to bed feeling so much lighter.
If You’re Struggling to Open Up
If you’re struggling in silence right now, please know this: there are people who care about you. People who want to listen, support you, and be there for you.
I used to hear the phrase “a problem shared is a problem halved” and laugh. To me, it felt more like a problem shared was a problem doubled, a burden I was placing on someone else. It felt like I was expanding the hell I was living in by inviting someone else into it. But that simply isn’t true. It is in our human nature to care. To listen. To support.
And science backs this up – talking about our thoughts, feelings and experiences doesn’t just release stress, it actually helps us make sense of what’s going on. It creates space for healing, clarity, and connection.
Still, I know how hard it can be to speak up. So if you’re in that place, wanting to talk to someone, but scared to do it, here are some gentle ways to help you take that first step:
1. Start with writing it down
If saying it out loud feels like too much, write it instead. Let the words flow without editing. You don’t even have to share it, but it might help you understand how you’re feeling and what you want to say.
2. Choose someone you trust
You don’t need to tell everyone. Just start with one or two people you truly trust. Imagine yourself sitting with them, having an open conversation. Picture them responding with kindness, listening fully, making you feel understood, accepted, and safe. That feeling? That’s what you’re worthy of.
3. Start small
You don’t have to dive into every detail right away. You could simply say: “There’s something I’ve been struggling with, and I think it would really help to talk about it.” That can open the door without pressure.
4. Let them know how they can support you
It’s okay to set the tone. Try: “I don’t need advice, I just need someone to listen.”
Or:
“This is really hard for me to talk about, so please be patient with me.”
Giving a little direction can help both of you feel more at ease.
5. Pick the right moment
Choose a calm, quiet time when you’re not rushed or likely to be interrupted. A walk, a car ride, or a peaceful moment at home can help you feel more grounded.
6. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable
You don’t need to have the “right” words. You can cry. Pause. Stumble. Feel nervous. Opening up is brave, not because it’s polished, but because it’s real.
7. Remember: you are not a burden
You are not too much. You are not weak for needing support. You are a human being navigating something difficult and it’s okay to need connection. The people who love you want to be there. Sometimes they just don’t know you need them until you let them in.
Telling someone can feel scary, but it can also be the beginning of something healing. And you deserve support that feels safe, gentle, and kind.
If you’re not ready to open up to someone close just yet, consider talking to a therapist, a helpline, or even a support group online. You don’t have to carry it alone.
You deserve to feel heard 💛
Kate x
Mostly Kate 