Sunday 14th September 2025
As we all know, alcohol is pretty good at sending people into a foggy haze. Feeling the room spin, the world seems distant and dreamlike. A lot of those physical effects overlap with the lived experience of DPDR. Which is why, a few years back, I decided to stop drinking.
I’d always had a bit of a weird relationship with alcohol. Like a lot of us, I started drinking at house parties around age 14/15. I never really liked the taste, but I joined in at social occasions to fit in. At the time, I had no idea that what I was experiencing daily (depersonalisation) wasn’t “normal.” So when alcohol amplified it, I didn’t think too much of it. In fact, with my inhibitions lowered, I felt more confident and usually had fun. The increase in symptoms felt like a small price to pay for that boost.
But things changed in 2017 when my chronic derealisation symptoms began. Once the world around me felt distant and unreal, being drunk suddenly felt unsafe and scary. Thoughts crept in like: “If nothing is real, then I can do silly things without consequences.” I’d had those thoughts before during low, hopeless times, but under the influence, all rationality went out the window and I became a bit of a liability.
I’m very grateful I recognised how dangerous that mindset was before I ever drastically acted on it. Still, it completely changed my relationship with drinking. For a while, I only ever drank when I was with people I trusted, knowing they’d step in if things got too much. But eventually, even with their protests, I started to feel like a burden, like it was on their shoulders to keep an eye on me. Combine that with the fact that I never really liked the taste, hated how much more “spaced out” it made me, and didn’t want to inconvenience anyone…I decided to stop drinking altogether.
There were perks, of course. No more worrying about symptom flare-ups, cheaper nights out, and no hangovers! But not drinking at social events brought its own challenges. The constant: “Why aren’t you drinking?” … “Are you pregnant?”… or the classic “Stop being boring, just have one!” For some reason, it never seemed socially acceptable to say no to alcohol. I didn’t always feel like explaining the real reason behind my choice, so I’d laugh it off with things like, “I just don’t fancy it tonight,” or “The hangover’s not worth it, ha!” Still, the comments bothered me. I often felt like a bit of a weirdo, like people were silently judging me.
But over the last couple of years, as I’ve become more accepting of my “spaced out” companion and learned to let it walk beside me rather than take control, my relationship with alcohol has softened too. These days, if I’m in a social situation and fancy a drink, I’ll have one (pink gin and lemonade has become a favourite!). And if I don’t feel like it, I won’t. Simple as that.
The difference is, I no longer let the comments get under my skin. I understand my relationship with alcohol better than anyone else, and no one else’s thoughts or feelings about it get to define mine.
If you’re struggling with your relationship with alcohol, or finding it hard to deal with other people’s comments about not drinking, here are a few things that have helped me:
🌸 Decide what feels right for you.
Whether that’s stopping completely, only drinking occasionally, or finding a drink you actually enjoy-it’s your choice, no one else’s.
🌸 Have some go-to responses ready.
It can be exhausting constantly answering “Why aren’t you drinking?” Having a couple of lines prepared like “I don’t fancy it tonight, and I know I’ll still have just as much fun” or “I feel better when I don’t” can help take the pressure off in the moment.
🌸 Find your safe people.
Spend time with friends or family who respect your choices and don’t make you feel uncomfortable. A supportive environment makes such a difference.
🌸 Remember it’s not a big deal.
It might feel like everyone’s watching, but most people don’t actually care what’s in your glass. Ordering a soft drink with confidence can go a long way.
🌸 Focus on what you gain, not what you lose.
Less chaos, more money saved, no hangovers and clearer mornings. It’s worth celebrating the positives rather than fixating on what you might be “missing.”
🌸 If you do want to drink, do it on your terms.
There’s no right or wrong. If you feel comfortable having a drink now and then, that’s okay. If not, that’s okay too. You’re allowed to change your mind whenever you want.
🌸 Be kind to yourself.
If alcohol heightens symptoms or makes you feel unsafe, it’s not a failure to step away from it. You’re looking after yourself, and that’s something to be proud of.
All my love,
Kate x
Mostly Kate 